she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
