How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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