There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
