Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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