i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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