Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
