I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
