dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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