This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
