if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
