Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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