Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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