Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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