Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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