dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
