Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
