I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
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Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
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when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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