she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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