I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
