Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
