It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
