ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
