I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
