I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize