I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
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I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
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show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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