hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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