I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
