Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
