you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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