He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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