Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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