..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
