Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
