hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
