it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
