very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
