This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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