dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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