Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Randomize
Follow @tfln