Your mouth is God's brothel.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
