the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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