I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
