Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
