cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
