You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
