Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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