Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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