I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
