One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
