I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
