when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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