Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize