bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
