would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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