Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
