its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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