you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dick very happy bro
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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