Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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