Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
