Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
