After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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