you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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