i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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