She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
