Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
