dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
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I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
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I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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