thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
